


voice of rage and ruin

by orphan_account



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Child Abuse, Credence Barebone Needs a Hug, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-02 09:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 11,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8661667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The Barebone family has a secret.It goes by the name of Credence.





	1. the beginning

_Modesty Barebone has a secret._

_If you asked her she’d tell you she lived with her mother and sister. Her mother, Mary Lou, works for an organization and on weekends Modesty helps her pass out flyers at the mall. Her sister, Chastity, is a senior in high school and head of the debate team._

_Modesty would tell you that she had a typical suburban family._

_She would be lying._

_She wouldn’t tell you that there was another Barebone sibling, a brother, only a year younger than Chastity. She wouldn’t tell you that while she, her mother, and her sister had their own rooms on the second floor her brother slept in the basement, behind a locked door that only her mother had the key to._

_Modesty wouldn’t tell you about her brother, Credence, because according to her mother, Credence Barebone didn’t exist._

_It wasn’t always like this. Mary Lou had moved her family from New York City to a small upstate town only a year ago. In the city Modesty and Chastity shared a room while Credence had his own. In the city Credence went to school, played the piano, and was considered a member of the family. Modesty didn’t know what happened. One day she heard her mother and Credence arguing and the next week her mother took the kids out of school, packed their bags, and moved them far away._

_The new house had a simple layout; a kitchen, living room, and small office on the first floor and three bedrooms on the second floor. Mary Lou had told Credence to stay in the car as she took the girls on the tour. Modesty had expected to share a room with her sister again and was confused when her mother delightfully told them that they no longer had to share._

_“But what about Credence?” Modesty had asked, and Mary Lou gave her a look._

_“Don’t worry about him,” she said, and then walked away._

_They had stayed in a hotel the first few nights as the house was getting decorated. Mary Lou slept in one bed, the girls in another, and Credence on the small couch that didn’t even fold out into a bed. Modesty looked at Credence sadly as they walked out of the room, leaving him behind as they went to get dinner._

_“Credence is going to be hungry,” Modesty told her mother, who huffed in annoyance._

_“Credence will be fine,” she told her sternly, “We’ll talk about him later. We’re going to dinner at a lady’s house that will be living down the street from us. Be on your best behavior and don’t mention him.”_

_Modesty gave Chastity an uneasy look. Chastity looked just as confused but shrugged her shoulders._

_“Are these your children?” The lady down the street asked as the Barebones entered the house._

_“Indeed,” Mary Lou said, smiling. “Chastity is my oldest. She is sixteen and a junior in high school. Modesty is seven years old and in the second grade.”_

_Modesty made no comment as Mary Lou ignored the fact that she had a son._

_“How wonderful!” The lady down the street said. “My daughter is Chastity’s age. Let me introduce her.”_

_The dinner went by as normal, the adults engaged in their own conversation and Modesty was left to listen to her sister’s conversation with her new friend. Neither her mother nor sister mentioned Credence._

_When it was time to go Modesty gained an idea. “I want another slice of pie!” She told her mother._

_“Why don’t you take a slice home with you?” The lady said, handing a plate to Mary Lou._

_“How kind of you,” she said, “Modesty, say thank you.”_

_“Thank you!” Modesty yelled, skipping out the door. She held the plate close to her. She was going to give it to Credence._

_He was sitting on the couch and watching TV when they returned. Mary Lou’s calm face turned into one of anger._

_“I didn’t say you could watch anything,” she snapped, grabbing the remote from Credence’s hand._

_“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at his hands._

_Mary Lou rolled her eyes and went to the bedroom. Chastity followed and when the door was closed Modesty smiled._

_“Credence!” She whispered “Look what I brought back!”_

_She showed him the pie and watched as his eyes lit up._

_“It’s for you!” she said._

_“Did mom say it was okay?” He asked._

_Modesty shrugged. “I said I was going to eat it. She’ll never know.”_

_She handed her brother the plate and plastic fork and watched as he devoured the slice._

_“Thank you,” he said, and Modesty smiled. She gave him a hug and he leaned in close._

_“Love you, Credence,” she told him before going to the bedroom._

_When it was finally time to officially move into their new home, Credence shuffled behind his family as they entered._

_“Girls, go upstairs,” Mary Lou said, and Modesty looked back as she walked up the stairs to see her mother drag Credence into the kitchen._

_That night at dinner the girls came down to the table to see it was only set for three._

_“Where’s Credence?” Chastity asked, and her mother sighed and straightened out her dress._

_“We need to talk,” she said, motioning for the girls to sit down._

_She served them dinner and they watched, anxiously waiting for an explanation._

_“Credence did a horrible thing,” Mary Lou eventually stated, “and is no longer considered part of this family.”_

_“What?” Chastity asked._

_“Where did he go?” Modesty cried out._

_Mary Lou simply pointed to a door in the kitchen._

_“Credence will be there. I will take care of him; you do not need to worry. However, no one shall know he is there.”_

_Chastity looked at her mother with a pale face. Modesty wanted to cry._

_“I don’t understand,” Chastity said._

_“He is no longer part of the family!” Mary Lou shouted, banging her fists on the table. “Is that clear?”_

_Chastity and Modesty nodded slowly._

_“Very well,” Mary Lou said, “I’m going to take a shower. Please clean the dishes before you go upstairs.”_

_The girls sat in silence for a few seconds after she left the kitchen. Then Chastity got up from the table and went to the basement door. She tried to open it but had no luck._

_“It’s locked,” she whispered, turning to Modesty._

_Modesty burst into tears._

 


	2. modesty

Mary Lou woke Modesty up at 6:30 to get ready for school. She got dressed and ate her breakfast, leaving a little bit of oatmeal in the bowl before putting it in the sink. Credence was allowed to eat whatever leftovers they gave him and Modesty always made sure he would have some. Chastity did the same at first, but eventually fell into their mother’s routine of treating Credence like a servant rather than her brother.

As the girls gathered their backpack, Mary Lou unlocked the basement door and called out for Credence. He came up the stairs, his eyes glued to the floor.

“You can have whatever is left and then clean the dishes and clear the table.”

“Yes mam,” Credence says and made his way over to the sink.

“It better be clean by the time I get back,” Mary Lou snarls, and Credence nodded.

Mary Lou worked from home and Modesty hated to think what she put her brother through while the girls were gone for the day.

“Have fun at school, sweetie,” Mary Lou sweetly tells Modesty when they were parked in front of the elementary school.

“Thanks, mom!” She says, grabbing her backpack and heading to her classroom. Ms. Goldstein was her teacher for third grade and Modesty absolutely loved her.

“Good morning, Modesty,” Ms. Goldstein greets as Modesty walked into the classroom.

“Hi!” Modesty smiles.

“Did you have a good weekend?” Ms. Goldstein asks and Modesty nods.

“I went to the mall with my mom and sister!” She says excitedly.  “I got this cool shirt!” Modesty points to the one she is wearing.

“I like it,” Ms. Goldstein says, and goes to her desk to get papers ready for the day.

When school is finished Modesty waited for her mom to pick her up.

“Do you have any homework?” Mary Lou asks as they enter the house.

“I have a math worksheet,” Modesty groans. “I hate math.”

“I was never good at math either,” Mary Lou laughs. “The sooner you start the sooner you’ll be finished.  Modesty nodded and went to the kitchen table. She hoped Credence would be out. Sometimes he’d still be cleaning the house when she returned home from school. Today was not the case. The basement door was closed and locked like always.

She’d see him after dinner, however, as he stood at the sink and shoved leftover chicken into his mouth. His right eyebrow had dry blood on it from a cut he did not have earlier in the morning.

“That’s enough,” Mary Lou hisses, grabbing the plate away from Credence. “You’re taking too long,” she tells him as she uses the fork to push the chicken into the garbage disposal. “Clean everything and then get downstairs.”

Credence nods and goes to work. Modesty stays at the table and Credence looks at her out of the corner of his eye as he walks down the basement stairs. Mary Lou slams the door shut and locked it.

“It’s time to get ready for bed, sweetie,” she tells Modesty.

“Goodnight mom,” Modesty says as Mary Lou tucks her into bed. Her mother gave her a kiss on the forehead and then turned the light off as she left the room. Modesty tossed and turned but didn’t fall asleep. Hours later, when the house was dark and asleep, she quietly got out of bed and tiptoed down the stairs to her mother’s office.

After they moved, Chastity and Modesty spent an entire day looking for the basement key while their mother was out. It took forever, but they finally found it hidden in a drawer in Mary Lou’s office. It was still there, even a year later, telling Modesty that Mary Lou had no idea that Modesty would sneak downstairs to check on him.

She gently opens the door and closes it behind her.

“Credence?” She whispers but didn’t get a response.

“Credence? It’s Modesty,” she says, slowly walking down the basement stairs. It was dark. Mary Lou hadn’t fixed the lighting when they moved in but the basement slowly became visible the longer Modesty was down there. When she got to the bottom of the stairs she stared at Credence.

Her brother slept on an old mattress on the floor, a single pillow and blanket to keep comfortable and warm. There was no bathroom down here and Modesty could smell an odor coming from a bucket against the wall, far away from Credence’s mattress.

Credence laid curled up on the mattress, his knees tucked into his chest and his arms wrapped around the pillow his head rested on. His eyes fluttered at the sound of someone approaching but he didn’t open them.

“Credence,” Modesty says a little louder, and finally Credence looks at her.

“Hey,” he says to her. He sits up against the wall next to his mattress, wincing as he does so.

“What happened?” Modesty asked, pointing to his eyebrow.

“Same old stuff,” Credence says

Modesty sighs. “We did a read aloud in class today,” she tells him excitedly. “I got to read as the main character!”

“Awesome,” Credence says, smiling. “Good for you.”

Modesty continued to talk about her day until she starts to yawn.

“You should go to sleep,” Credence tells her. “It’s probably really late.”

Modesty nods in agreement, and then leaned forward to give her brother a hug. He stiffened at the touch but rubbed her back as a thank you.

“Love you Credence,” Modesty says still hugging him.

“I love you too,” Credence tells her, giving her a kiss in her hair. Modesty knew that he means it, and even though most touches make him flinch, no matter how loving, he was thankful for each and one of Modesty’s visits.

“You’re my favorite big brother,” Modesty tells him, and Credence laughs.

“I’m your only big brother,” he says, and Modesty smiles. It was a simple conversation that they had every time she came down and before she went upstairs to her room.

She waved goodbye before walking up the stairs and closing the basement door, locking it shut behind her.


	3. credence

_Credence groaned when he’s awoken by his alarm clock at 6:15. He takes a shower, gets dressed, and goes to the kitchen to eat breakfast._

_“Did you study for your science test?” Mary Lou asked and Credence nodded as he ate his oatmeal._

_“I think I’ll do fine,” he said, and Mary Lou smiles._

_“You always do,” she tells him, giving him a kiss on the top of his head._

_He walks to school with Chastity and listens as she goes on about the boy in her class that asked her to the upcoming dance._

_“Are you going to ask anyone, Credence?” She asked and he shrugged._

_“You should! It’ll be fun.”_

_“Maybe,” he said as he waved goodbye and the sibling went their separate ways to their classes._

_Credence has his science test first thing in the morning and thinks that he’ll get an A._

_He heads over to the band and chorus building and stops at the bathroom. He goes to the last stall and waits. Eventually he hears footsteps and three knocks on the stall. It’s their signal. He opens the door and Newt is looking back at him, a smile forming on his face as he says hello._

_“Hey,” Credence said, pulling him into a kiss._

_“I think I just failed my history test,” Newt said, and Credence laughed._

_“Well I just aced my science test,” Credence told him._

_Newt rolls his eyes and playfully hits Credence’s chest._

_“Such a smarty pants you are,” he said, pulling Credence in for another kiss._

_“You just need to study,” Credence told him when his mouth is free again. “Don’t you need good grades to stay on the soccer team anyway?”_

_Newt rolls his eyes. The warning bell rings and Newt sighs. “I have to get going.”_

_“See you later,” Credence said._

_Credence walked over to the band room with the taste of Newt still on his lips._


	4. modesty

Modesty turns nine on a chilly day in November. Thanksgiving is nearby and the Barebones will be eating at their neighbor’s house. Tonight Mary Lou is making Modesty’s favorite; spaghetti and meatballs.  Modesty sits at the kitchen table and takes in the smells of her mother’s spaghetti sauce. She looks at the basement door. Credence also loves spaghetti.

She bites her lip and looks at Mary Lou.

“Mommy,” she whispered.

“Yes dear?”

“Since it’s my birthday can we do something different tonight?”

“What do you mean?”

Modesty is silent before asking, “Can Credence eat with us?”

Mary Lou immediately stops cooking at her son’s name. She looks at Modesty who is staring at the table.

“Please?” She asks, “For my birthday?”

“We’ll see,” Mary Lou says, and Modesty prays that means yes.

When dinner is finally ready and the three girls are at the table Modesty looks at her mother again. Mary Lou sighs.

“This is only because it’s your birthday,” she says firmly.

“I know,” Modesty replies.

“He doesn’t deserve to be up here otherwise,” her mother tells her.

Modesty nods her head even though she doesn’t believe it. Chastity is watching the interaction, confused, but realization hits her when Mary Lou goes to her office and returns with the basement key. She opens it and walks down the stairs. Modesty and Chastity can hear whispering before the sound of footsteps walking back up the stairs.

Mary Lou walks to the table and Credence trails slowly behind her.

He is wearing nothing spectacular. Modesty is wearing her favorite dress and her mother and sister both have a nice blouse on. Credence is dressed in all black wearing a faded Batman shirt and basketball shorts.

Mary Lou takes a folding chair out of the utility closet and puts it at the table for Credence to sit. She brings him a plate of spaghetti and a glass of water. Modesty and Chastity watch Credence and can tell he feels uncomfortable.

“Happy birthday, Modesty,” he whispers, and Modesty smiles.

“Thank you,” she says, and gently touches his hand when their mother isn’t looking.

Chastity gives him an awkward smile but says hello.

Other than the presence of Credence the birthday dinner goes as expected. When everyone finishes Credence clears the table and starts cleaning the dishes like he is supposed to. Mary Lou brings out a birthday cake and sets it on the table. Modesty’s face lights up but the excitement soon disappears when Mary Lou tells Credence to go back downstairs.

“He had dinner with us and that is more than enough, Modesty,” she says, and Modesty sighs.

“Thank you mom,” she says.

The cake is delicious and Modesty goes to bed full and had having a very happy birthday.

She goes to bed not knowing that Mary Lou goes down to the basement and drags Credence off his mattress and to a standing position. She punches him in the stomach and he bends over. Mary Lou grabs his chin and grips at it to keep it open, using her other hand to shove a finger down the boy’s throat. He gags and Mary Lou shoves her finger down even farther.

She removes it just before Credence throws up the spaghetti dinner on the floor.

“Disgusting boy,” she snarls, and pushes Credence away. He whimpers and stares at the mess on the floor.

“Take off your shirt,” Mary Lou says and Credence does so.

“Clean it up,” she says, and Credence whines as he lowers himself to the floor and uses his shirt to mop up the vomit.

Mary Lou leaves the basement and Credence is left holding the ruined shirt. Credence’s wardrobe is kept in Mary Lou’s closet. The shirt he is holding is the only one he has down in the basement. He is left with his chest and back exposed; welts and bruises from previous punishments throbbing in the cold basement.


	5. credence

_Credence doesn’t know how he got to be so lucky._

_He was at Newt’s house, curled up on his bed, watching a movie._

_If you had told Credence two months ago this is where he would be he’d laugh._

_Newt Scamander – captain of the soccer team – hanging out with Credence Barebone?_

_Yeah right._

_Yet here they were. The movie became background noise as Credence ran his fingers through Newt’s hair and Newt snuggled against his neck, giving soft kisses across the skin._

_They had been assigned to work on a project together for English class. Their first meeting after school was awkward. Newt sat at the table and scrolled through his phone, not giving Credence a glance._

_“We should get started,” Credence finally said softly, and Newt let out a heavy sigh._

_“Fine,” he said, and opened their English book._

_Their next meeting didn’t go any better. It wasn’t until their third meeting that Newt noticed that Credence was wearing a Stranger Things related shirt and showed interest in talking to Credence._

_“Stranger Things?” he asked, “I love that show. I didn’t know you watched it,” he told him._

_“You never asked,” Credence replied._

_“None of my friends watch it,” Newt said, “they think there’s too much science fiction,” he said._

_Credence shrugged. “I love science fiction.”_

_“Have you watched the X-Files?” Newt asked and Credence nodded._

_“All ten seasons,” he said._

_“I’m so happy they brought it back!” Newt exclaimed, and the conversation shifted from school work to TV shows. They hadn’t gotten any work done two hours later, but Credence left the library feeling accomplished in having an actual conversation with Newt Scamander._

_Their meetings started getting easier to sit through, and they took breaks from working to talk about their interests._

_“Have you watched Twin Peaks?” Credence asked, and Newt shook his head._

_“I’ve been wanting to,” Newt said._

_“Me too,” replied Credence, and Newt looked at his phone._

_“My dad is working late tonight. Do you want to grab a slice of pizza and head back to my place? We can watch the first few episodes.”_

_Credence had to hide his excitement as he nodded._

_They ended up watching the series in a week, meeting every day after school to work on their project and then heading to Newt’s apartment to watch more episodes. Their friendship grew, and even though Newt kept it a secret from his soccer buddies, Credence didn’t mind. When they shared their first kiss Credence thought he had flown away to heaven._

_“I’m sorry!” Newt yelled, scrambling back on the bed._

_“It’s okay,” Credence said, softly._

_“I’ve never done that before. I’m not gay,” Newt told him, and Credence looked down at the floor._

_“I guess I should go?” Credence asked, and Newt nodded, not even bothering to walk him out to the front door._

_Newt didn’t acknowledge him at school the next day. They presented their English project and it was as if Stranger Things, The X-Files, and Twin Peaks didn’t exist in Newt’s world. He laughed along with his soccer buddies and cheerleader friends and if his eyes landed on Credence he’d look away quickly._

_Credence tried to not let it get to him. They were from two different worlds. Newt was nicer and more proper than most of his teammates but still. The sports star never went out with the band geek, especially if they were both boys._

_Then one day Newt saw Credence in the hallway walking towards the band building and caught up to him, grabbing him by the arm, and shoving him into the boys bathroom._

_“What are you doing?” Credence asked, and Newt shushed him, leading him to the last stall and locking it shut._

_“Hey,” was all Newt said to him._

_“Hi,” Credence said in return._

_Newt looked around the stall, then to the floor, and then back at Credence before leaning forward and giving him a kiss._

_Credence was shocked, but returned the kiss in delight._

_“I’ve been wanting to do that forever,” Newt sighed when they pulled apart._

_“I thought you weren’t gay?” Credence said in annoyance._

_“Me too,” Newt said quietly, “but I kissed Ariana the other day and all I thought about was you,” he admitted._

_“I’m sure she liked that,” Credence joked, and Newt hit him in the arm._

_“Stop it,” he said, “No one can know. Promise me?” He asked, and Credence nodded. Newt gave him another fast kiss before leaving the stall._

_“Come to my place after school today,” he called out, “We’ll find something to watch.”_

_And that’s how he came to be sitting on Newt’s bed, making out as some movie set in space played in the background._


	6. chastity

Chastity Barebone tries to pretend that everything is normal.

Everything _is_ normal. Everything is normal. Everything is normal.

No matter how many times she repeats those words she doesn’t think she will ever believe it.

She sighs, and then groans, rolling over in bed to make herself more comfortable.

She’s tried to follow in her mother’s footsteps. She’s tried to act as if seeing Credence means nothing to her, but deep down he is her brother and she misses him dearly. They are only a year apart and they might as well have been twins with how close they were. They played in the same play group as toddlers and always waved to each other when they passed in the hallways at school.

He is her brother and she hates how their mother treats him. Even Modesty knows it’s wrong. She’s always leaving leftover food for him to eat, sneaking gentle touches, and warm smiles when their mother isn’t looking.

The past year has gone by in a blur of denial. She looks away when Mary Lou grabs at Credence, she walks out of the room when she shouts cruel words at him, and covers her ears when she hears his pained crying.

Everything is normal. Everything is normal. Everything is normal.

Mary Lou has been crueler recently. Chastity stayed home from school today, a stomach virus had been going around and of course Chastity caught it, and since she was home she was not able to block out just how bad things had gotten.

She was in bed when she heard a soft knock at the door and Credence walked in holding a plate of dry toast and a cup of water.

“Mom told me to give this to you,” he says looking down at the carpet as he spoke. “I hope you feel better,” he whispers, and then turned around to walk out the door before Chastity even had a chance to speak.

“Credence!” She calls out before he had closed the door.

He turned around and she motioned for him to come back.

“How are you doing?” She asks, and Credence shrugs.

“What happened to your lip?” She asks, and Credence ran his tongue over the cut on his lip and winced.

“It’s nothing,” he says.

“You didn’t have it last night,” Chastity says, “and it obviously hurts. It’s something.”

“Mom got mad and threw a glass,” Credence tells her.

“Come here,” Chastity says, and Credence stood there unsure of whether or not to do so.

“ _Credence_ ,” Chastity says again, and finally he walked over. She patted the bed for him to sit down next to him and he did.

She looked at him but he wouldn’t meet her eyes in return.

“Do you remember that one time when we were younger and wanted to bake banana bread?” She asks. “We wanted to bake them from scratch so we pulled the flour out of the cabinet.”

“But we didn’t know that the flour had already been open so when we pulled it out it spilled all over the floor,” Credence whispers, a small smile forming on his face.

“And then you threw some at me,” Chastity says.

“No you threw it at _me_ ,” Credence tells her, laughing.

“Sure,” Chastity says, rolling her eyes, “Whatever you say. I just remember mom coming into the kitchen and finding us on the floor covered in flour.”

They were about to continue reliving their memory when Mary Lou’s voice interrupted them.

“Credence?” She yelled, “Where are you?”

Credence jumped off of Chastity’s bed at the very moment Mary Lou opened her door. She stared at Credence.

“What do you think you’re doing in here?” She growls.

“I just came to give Chastity her snack like you asked,” he says.

“I told you to come directly downstairs after,” Mary Lou says, and Credence looked at the floor again.

“Mom its okay,” Chastity tells her, “We were just talking.”

“There’s nothing to talk about with him,” Mary Lou says. She turns to Credence. “Go  to the kitchen. Now.”

Credence silently obeys her orders and walks out of the room.

“Mom really,” Chastity says again, “Credence didn’t do anything wrong. He was going to leave once he brought me my food but I asked him to stay.”

“He has done so much wrong,” Mary Lou snaps, “and you and your sister are very lucky I am keeping you away from the disgrace he has caused.”

She left the room to meet Credence down in the kitchen. Minutes later Chastity could hear the sound of leather against skin and her brother yelping in pain. Then she heard the sound of a door being slammed shut.

Later, when Mary Lou goes out to pick up medicine, Chastity sneaks into her mother’s office to get the basement key. She unlocks the door and makes her way down the stairs. She can hear Credence crying but his whimpering got quieter once he realizes someone is here.

“It’s just me,” Chastity says, walking over to his mattress.

Credence was shirtless and Chastity herself winced when she saw his back. Bloody streaks ran down it and Credence curls into himself again as he wiped snot from his nose.

“Credence,” Chastity whispers, and leans over towards him but stops when he jerks away.

“It needs to be cleaned,” she says, “I’ll be right back.”

“No!” Credence yells out, and Chastity stops and turns around.

“She’ll know someone was down here if they’re treated,” he whispers, and Chastity felt bile rise up her throat.

Chastity sits on the floor and puts her hands in her head. “This is so wrong,” she cries out, “I’m so sorry Credence.”

“It’s not your fault,” he tells her.

“Yes it is! I haven’t helped you at all. How can you stand to have me here?”

“Because you’re my sister,” Credence says, and Chastity wants to cry even harder. Even after a year of horrible abuse he was still the sweet boy he had always been.

“I’m sorry,” Chastity repeats.

“I know,” Credence tells her, “but she’ll be coming back soon. You should go back to your room.”

Chastity nods and says goodbye. When she gets back to her room she collapses on her bed.

Everything is normal. Everything is normal. Everything is normal.

Her speech to herself was no longer effective. Nothing was normal.

Credence needs help. Credence needs help. _Credence needs help,_ she says to herself instead.

 


	7. credence

_It was a Wednesday morning and Credence had just gotten out of his history class. He was currently with Newt, pressed together in the last stall of the bathroom that they always met in. It had been a long weekend; no school on Monday, and yesterday Newt was busy preparing for an upcoming soccer game so they didn’t get to meet up._

_“It’s a good thing you don’t like soccer,” Newt said, “because I wouldn’t be able to concentrate if you were watching. I’d probably kick the ball into the wrong goal.”_

_Credence laughed. “Maybe one day I’ll go in disguise.”_

_Newt laughed too, and then let out a groan when the warning bell rang._

_“I don’t want to go,” Credence said._

_“Me either,” Newt replied._

_Credence leaned against Newt’s chest and the boy wrapped his arms around him, rubbing his back and kissing his dark hair. The final bell went off but neither boy moved._

_“What a rebel you are,” Newt said, and Credence giggled. “I can say the same about you.” He leaned in and kissed Newt on the mouth just as the door to the bathroom opened. It wasn’t until after Newt let out another laugh that they realized they weren’t alone._

_“Is anyone in here?” a voice called out, and Newt and Credence froze._

_The voice belonged to the school principal, Mr. Graves._

_He walked along the bathroom, his footsteps getting closer, and stopped in front of their stall._

_“The school has noticed that the warning bells are not having an effect on students,” Mr. Graves stated. “We’re now going through the halls to make sure all students are in class at the right time. You should be in class,” he said. “Come on now. Open the door.”_

_A whine escaped Credence’s lip but Newt slowly unlocked the stall and opened it. What other option did they have?_

_The stall opened and Mr. Graves was looking at a very pale Credence, and Newt, who was biting his lip and looking to his side, not wanting to look Mr. Graves in the eyes._

_“Oh,” Mr. Graves simply said. “I see.”_

_The boys followed him to the school’s main office and through the hallway to Mr. Graves’ own office. “Please sit,” he told them, pointing to chairs in the hallway. Once the boys were seated Mr. Graves went inside and closed the door._

_Neither boy spoke or glanced at each other as they waited. It felt like years, but finally Mr. Graves reopened his office door._

_“I have notified both your parents. Mr. Scamander you may return to class. Mr. Barebone please follow me. Your mother will be arriving soon.”_

_Newt bit his lip again and stole a glance at Credence before standing. “Thank you Mr. Graves,” he said, and walked away. Credence followed the principal to the front of the office. He whispered something to the secretary who then nodded and looked at Credence. She pointed to another chair to sit in as he waited for his mother._

_She arrived, looking frantic and giving Credence a concerned look, and when Mr. Graves appeared she followed him to his office. She returned, fifteen minutes later, her face red and angry but with tear stains running down her cheeks._

_“Let’s go Credence,” she said roughly, “We’re leaving.”_

_She didn’t even wait to hear the secretary ask her to sign Credence out of school. She just grabbed his arm, pulled him off the chair, and led him to the car. The ride was silent to the house._

_Once they were in the kitchen Mary Lou turned to him._

_“What on earth were you thinking?” She shouted, and Credence flinched at her loud voice. “Do you know how humiliated I felt as I sat there listening to your principal tell me how he found you and a…  a boy in a bathroom stall together?”_

_“I’m sorry, ma,” Credence told her._

_“What did I ever do? Huh? I work hard to give you a home, to give you a nice education, and this is what you do in return? Was this the only time?” She asked, and Credence shook his head._

_Mary Lou let out another noise._

_“Ma,” Credence said, “I don’t know how to describe it. I never felt like this before,” he whispered._

_His mother glared at him. “It’s sinful, is what it is,” she growled. “Homosexuality is wrong. Hasn’t the bible taught you anything?”_

_“I’m sorry, ma,” Credence apologized again but Mary Lou held up her hand, telling him that she didn’t want to hear anymore._

_“If you are going to give in to those disgusting desires than you will not be calling me ‘ma’,” she said, walking away._

_The next day Credence went to find Newt after school. They sat on a bench behind the school._

_“What did your parents say?” Credence asked._

_“My mom seemed okay with it,” he said, “my dad was silent the whole night, though,” Newt told him._

_“My mom was very angry,” Credence said._

_“Well I need to go now,” Newt said, standing up. He turned to leave but then decided to give Credence a soft kiss on his head. “Hopefully everything will be okay,” he told him, and Credence nodded._

_He found Chastity and they walked home together. Mary Lou was sitting at the table when they arrived._

_“Hi mom!” Chastity said._

_She smiled at her daughter and then turned to her son._

_“Did you talk to him today?” She asked, sternly. Credence looked down at the floor._

_“Talk to whom?” Chastity asked._

_“That boy,” Mary Lou said, “I think he’s in charge of the soccer team.”_

_“Newt Scamander?” Chastity asked, “Oh yeah. I did see you two talking after school,” she said. “That’s nice that you two are friends.”_

_Mary Lou scoffed._

_“Chastity please go to your room,” she said, and Chastity looked confused._

_“Go help your sister with your homework,” her mother said when Chastity didn’t move._

_Chastity nodded and gave her mother and brother one last glance before heading up the stairs._

_She left Credence alone with their mother for her to scream at him again._


	8. modesty

Modesty is in dreamland when she feels her body being shaken. She slowly is brought back to reality and opens her eyes. Chastity stood next to her bed, looking as if she had been crying.

“Chastity?” She asks, sleepily, “What’s wrong?”

Chastity sniffs and rubs her nose.

“Credence is hurt badly,” she says.

Modesty sits up at the mention of her brother.

“What’s wrong?” She asks, concerned.

“Mom got really mad at him when you were at school,” Chastity says, “I snuck down there when she was out and his back looks horrible. He wouldn’t let me help him, though, so I just snuck down there again and he’s still in a lot of pain.”

Modesty’s lip trembles.

“We need to do something,” Chastity tells her. She rubs her nose again. “I’m still sick so Mom will probably make me stay home again. You need to tell someone, Modesty.”

“Who should I tell? What should I say?”

“Tell someone you trust,” Chastity tells her, “and tell them everything.”

 Chastity then walks out of Modesty’s room, leaving her alone. Modesty gets out of bed and grabs the key from Mary Lou’s office. She opens the basement door and even from the top of the stairs she can hear moans coming from Credence.

She makes her over to him and gasps.

His mattress is bloody, the red stains coming from his torn up back.

“Credence,” she whispers.

“Go away,” he tells her.

Modesty’s lip trembles again.

“I’m sorry,” Credence tells her, “I just don’t feel good.”

Modesty nods in understanding. She leans forward and gives Credence a kiss on his shoulder.

“Love you, Credence,” she tells him. “You’re my favorite big brother.”

Another moan escapes Credence lips instead of his usual response. Modesty leaves the basement and tries to go back to sleep.

When Modesty is dropped off at school in the morning she stands outside her classroom, not yet entering.

“Modesty,” Ms. Goldstein says with a usual smile on her face. “Are you going to come in?”

Modesty nods and goes to sit down at her desk. Ms. Goldstein’s smile turns into a frown when she realizes Modesty is clearly upset.

“Are you okay, Modesty?” Ms. Goldstein asks and Modesty shrugs.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Ms. Goldstein asks.

“Maybe later,” Modesty says.

“Well I’ll be here whenever you are ready.”

“Thank you, Ms. Goldstein,” Modesty tells her.

She spends the whole morning wondering if Ms. Goldstein is the one she should tell and what shes should say to her. When it’s time for lunch Modesty takes her time going from her desk to the line at the classroom door.

“Ms. Goldstein,” Modesty whispers, “I think I’m ready.”

“Why don’t you eat lunch with me here in the classroom?” Ms. Goldstein says, and Modesty nods in agreement. She goes with the class to the lunch room and then walks back with Ms. Goldstein once the rest of the class has been seated. Ms. Goldstein pulls up a chair next to Modesty’s desk and Modesty stares at her lunch.

“Take your time,” Ms. Goldstein says.

“What should you do if someone is being mean to you?” She asks.

“You should tell an adult,” Ms. Goldstein says, “is someone being mean to you?”

“But what if it’s an adult that’s being mean,” Modesty asks.

Ms. Goldstein gives her a look. “Modesty,” she says, “who is being mean to you?”

“It’s not me,” Modesty says, “it’s my brother.”

Ms. Goldstein looks confused. She has met Modesty’s mother many times before and while both Mary Lou and Modesty have talked about an older sister neither of them have ever mentioned a brother.

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” is all Ms. Goldstein says.

“That’s the point,” Modesty whispers.

“So you have a brother, “Ms. Goldstein says, “and an adult is being mean to him?”

Modesty nods.

“How are they being mean to him?”

Modesty’s lip trembles and Ms. Goldstein rubs her back. “It’s okay. You can tell me,” Ms. Goldstein assures.

“She hurts him,” Modesty tells her.

“Who hurts him?”

Modesty suddenly bursts into tears. “My mom,” she cries out, “she hurts Credence!”

Ms. Goldstein tries to keep calm. “What does she do?” She asks.

“She hits him with a belt, and he’s not allowed to eat with us, and she makes him do all the chores all day, and he doesn’t even get to leave the basement when he’s not cleaning!”

Ms. Goldstein stares. “The basement?” she asks slowly.

Modesty nods. “The door is locked on his side. Mom has a key. She doesn’t know that I know where it is but I do!”

Ms. Goldstein gets up from her chair and walks over to her desk. “I need to make a phone call,” she says, and Modesty nods.

“Hello, Wanda? It’s Tina Goldstein. I have a situation in my room. Can you please come over with Officer Thomas?”

Ms. Goldstein sits back down next to Modesty. “You are very brave for telling me this,” she says.

“Thank you,” Modesty says, still crying.

She hopes this is what Chastity means by telling someone. She hopes someone will get to Credence as soon as possible.


	9. credence

Pain is all Credence can feel and he doesn’t know if there is an end in sight. Mary Lou was at her worse last night. He doesn't even know why. All he did was talk to Chastity and yet his mother was acting as if he was talking to Newt instead. The lashes are familiar but usually he is given five lashes and then forgotten about.  Mary Lou would walk up the stairs and whisper to herself about how ashamed she is to have called him her son. This time was different. This time he didn’t know when the lashings would stop. This time he didn’t even know if Mary Lou _wanted_ to stop.

Chastity and Modesty both visited him and for the first time since he was brought down to this dreaded basement he wish that they had left him alone. He had hurt too much. The pain had surrounded him and he thought it was going to swallow him whole. It was the next day and he was still where both of them had left him; on the mattress painted with spots of red from his back.

He stays there still as can be until he hears a noise.

The basement door is unlocking.

He lets out a groan and uses all of his energy to roll over and face the wall.

The door opens and footsteps walk down the stairs. It can either be Chastity or Mary Lou.

“Hello?” an unfamiliar voice calls out.

“Credence,” the voice says. The speaker is a male. He thinks of the last male voice that he has heard. He thinks of Newt.

The man appears next to his mattress. He’s tall and wearing a blue uniform. He has a walkie talkie connected to his belt and he pulls it off when he gets next to him. Credence can't help but flinch at the belt.

“He’s down here,” he says. “Bring medical down.”

He looks at Credence.

“It’s okay,” the man tells him, “You’re safe now.”

More footsteps rush down the stairs and the basement is filled with other voices; both male and female this time, and they’re asking him all sorts of questions and trying to get him off the mattress. It’s all too much.

The pain finally swallows him.

Credence sees darkness and then pure white. White walls, white sheets, and a white gown on his body.

“Credence,” yet another voice says, except this time he recognizes it.

He opens his eyes to find Chastity standing next to his hospital bed.


	10. newt

It’s been a busy day; between AP exams and soccer practice Newt is probably going to collapse on his bed the second he enters his room. He’s outside the school waiting for his mom when his cell phone rings and displays an unknown number. He ignores it only for the caller to call again so he answers it.

“Hello?” he says.

“Newt?” The person on the other line asks. “Newt Scamander?”

“Yes, that’s me,” he says, “Who is this?”

There’s a pause before the person says, “Chastity Barebone.”

Newt’s body freezes. It takes his brain a few seconds to comprehend what he heard.

“Uh, hi,” he tells Chastity.

“Hi,” Chastity says back and even through the phone he can tell that she feels just as awkward as him.

He never spoke to Chastity back when the Barebones lived near him. He hasn’t spoken to any Barebone besides Credence and look what happened with that. He went to bed one night dreaming about Credence’s fingers on his hip and woke up the next morning to a world where Credence didn't even seem to exist. He hadn’t been at school the day after Principal Graves caught them in the bathroom and when he tried his cell phone he learned that the number was disconnected.  Credence ended up never returning to school.

“So… what can I do for you? How’d you get my number?”

“A friend of a friend,” Chastity says.

“Oh, cool,” Newt tells her.

There was another pause and then a sigh.

“I’m calling about Credence,” she says.

“I haven’t seen or heard about either of you in about a year,” Newt says.

“My mom moved us out of the city,” Chastity says, softly. “We’re about three hours away and I was wondering if maybe you could come up here this weekend?”

Newt laughs. ”What makes you think I’d do that?”

“Because I know about what happened with you and my brother,” Chastity says, and Newt feels is world falling apart. He doesn’t say anything in response.

“Newt, please,” Chastity says, “he’s hurt.”

“Hurt how?” Newt asks, concern rising in his voice.

“I can’t tell you over the phone. I’ll text you the address and the best time to meet up.”

“Okay,” Newt says, and he has no idea why he’s doing this.

They hang up and the text comes no more than five minutes later. He puts the address in his GPS and groans. He’s not looking forward to thinking up an excuse or using his allowance for the bus ticket.

He ends up telling his parent’s he’s staying at a friend’s house for the night to celebrate the soccer team’s most recent win. They don’t suspect a thing. He spends the bus ride looking throw photos on his phone, ones that he had deleted off a year ago but still saved on his computer. He put them back on his phone right before he left.

It’s every picture he has with Credence.

When he gets to the bus stop he asks a local where to go and ends up in front of a hospital.

He shouldn’t be surprised as Chastity did say that Credence was hurt but for some reason his stomach drops when he first set eyes on the building. He calls Chastity’s number.

“Hello?” she says.

“Hi, it’s Newt.”

“Are you here? We’re in room 510. I already told the nurses that you’ll be coming.”

“Okay,” he says, “I guess I’ll see you in a few seconds.”

They hang up and Newt spends his walk up to the room thinking about what to say in his head. _Haven’t you ever heard of a phone?_ _Did this town ban internet usage?_ And lastly; _Why did you leave me?_

All those thoughts leave him when he stops at the room and looks inside. Chastity is on a chair next to the bed and stoking Credence’s hair.

He takes a big breath.

“Um, hello there,” he says, walking into the room.

Credence looks up at him and his heart melts.


	11. credence

Credence can’t believe it. Maybe one of the welts on his back got infected and this is all just some weird hallucination. Newt can’t be in his hospital room now. He can’t be real. It’s not possible.

Except Newt is very real when Chastity grabs him by the arm and takes him out to the hallway.

Credence can only hear parts of the conversation.

 _“Malnourished, beat him with a belt, our mom, the doctors want him to stay a few more days just to keep an eye on him,”_ are just a few things that Credence can make out. They are still in his field of vision and he can see Newt turn pale and keep glancing towards him.

They walk back into the hospital room. “Hi,” Newt says, looking down at the bed instead of Credence. “Chastity called me,” he tells Credence. “I can leave if you want,” he says.

Credence shakes his head,

“Okay,” Newt says.

Credence looks at Chastity in confusion and she sighs.

“I figured you’d want to see him,” she shrugs.

“What made you think that?” Credence says with a weak voice. He looks at Newt and apologizes.

“It’s okay. I was wondering the same thing to be honest.”

It takes awhile for Chastity to respond. “I heard you and mom,” she suddenly whispers. “That night when she was screaming at you I heard her call you disgusting and a sinner. I thought about how she had asked if you had seen Newt and put two and two together,” she says.

Newt looks shocked. “She said that to you?” He asks.

Credence bites his lip and nods.

“So all this,” he says, motioning to Credence and then the entire hospital room, “is because Mr. Graves walked in on us kissing?”

Credence nods again.

“And you knew?” He asks Chastity. His voice is rising in anger. “You knew why your mom was hurting him and you didn’t tell anyone? Why not? Did you agree with your mom? Do you think I’m disgusting and a sinner? Do you think your _brother_ is?”

“No!” Chastity shouts. She looks at Credence. “No,” she says again, “I don’t think that.”

“Then why didn’t you tell anyone?” Newt asks again.

Chastity bursts into tears. “I don’t know,” she cries. “Mom was just acting so different and she was saying all those things and telling me it every day. I guess I thought if I just went along with her nonsense than it would hurt less,” she says.

“It wasn't nonsense,” Newt snaps, “it was abuse and Credence was hurting way more than you ever could have.”

Chastity keeps crying. Newt has so much more to say to her and he would have if Credence hadn’t reached out to him.

“Newt,” he calls to him, “Please. I don’t want anyone to fight.”

Newt stares at Credence and then at Chastity. “I’m sorry,” he tells her.

Chastity wipes away her tears and nods. “I’m going to wait for Modesty’s teacher to bring her,” she says.

The silence is unbearable when she leaves the room. Credence has mixed emotions about what just happened. He has spent countless times huddled up in that dark basement wondering why no one would save him. Modesty came down as much as she could but Chastity rarely did. He had spent nights crying himself to sleep and wondering if she or his mother ever really loved him. But at the same time Chastity is his sister and he remembers how she looked when the rescue team brought him upstairs. Her face was red from crying and she had run over to him, yelling out his name, telling him that she was here, and fighting with a medic when they tried to pull them apart. How dare Newt come in and yell at her? What about _him_? Did he do anything when he finally realized that Credence and his family had moved? Had he even cared?

Newt was sitting down on the chair next to his bed and anxiously picking at his nails.

“Did you ever wonder what happened to me?” he whispers, and Newt looked up.

Newt bit his lip. “Every day,” he finally answered.

“Did you ever try to find me?”

Newt looks down, ashamed. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he says.

“It’s okay,” Credence says.

“Are you sure you want me to stay?” Newt asks.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Hey do you remember that time I found that book all about zoology under your bed and you were so embarrassed because apparently, according to high school "rules", sports stars can’t like animals?” Credence says sarcastically and smiles.

Newt rolled his eyes. “Yes,” he says.

“Do you still like that stuff?”

“I do,” Newt tells him. “I actually think I want to study zoology when I go off to college.”

Credence scoots over and pats the bed, indicating at a spot next to him.

“Tell me your favorite animal facts,” Credence says, and Newt smiles as he gets comfortable next to Credence.


	12. the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to each and everyone one of you who have left comments and kudos and have stayed with me until the end. You all mean the world to me. ❤

Credence is released from the hospital as a ward of the state. He sits in the back seat of a social worker’s car, Modesty next to him, and Chastity in the passenger seat, and runs his fingers over a small piece of paper. He looks down at it.

 Newt’s number is written in blue ink.

“Maybe when everything is situated you can give me a call?” Newt had asked, handing him the piece of paper as he looked past Credence, unsure if things would ever be like they used to be back in the city. The two of them had sat next to each other on the bed for about fifteen minutes as Newt talked and Credence listened. Then Chastity had returned and let them know that Modesty and a lady were waiting in the hallway. Newt took that as his cue to leave.

The lady turned out to be a social worker. Modesty curled up on the bed next to Credence, her head resting on her shoulder, as the lady told them what was going to happen next.

“As you know your mother was arrested,” she said. Modesty let out a whimper and Credence looked at Chastity who was staring at the floor. “We’ll have to put you in foster homes,” the lady told them.

“I wanna be with Credence,” Modesty said.

“I’ll see what I can do,” the social worker said.

 When Credence was finally released they followed her to the car. It was a few hours in and they were still driving. Credence has no clue where they are heading. The car is silent except for the radio. Chastity was staring out the window and Credence did the same. Eventually familiar landscape started to pass by.

“Are we going back to the city?” Credence asks.

“Chastity was able to get in contact with a friend. Her parent’s agreed to let her stay with them,” The social worker says. “I was able to find Modesty a home nearby. Unfortunately it’s been harder to place you, Credence.”

Credence laughs to himself. Of course it is, he thinks. No one wants the boy who was locked in a basement for a year.  Credence has too much baggage.

“But I wanted to stay with Credence,” Modesty whines.

“I know, sweetie,” the social worker said calmly.

“Maybe we can ask if Credence can go with me,” Modesty says. The social worker sighs. “I’m afraid it’s not that easy. The family we are placing you with is only looking for one child to foster.”

“Then I don’t want to go,” Modesty tells her, crossing her arms on her chest.

“Modesty she’s doing the best that she can,” Chastity tells her.

Modesty rolls her eyes. Credence extends his arm out to touch her hand. He rubs it and she entwines her fingers in his so that they’re holding hands.

Chastity is dropped off first. Then Modesty. She cries and wraps her arms around Credence’s waist, refusing to let go. “I’ll visit you,” he says to her, looking at her foster parents who nod in uncertainty.

Modesty sniffles.

“Hey,” he says, kneeling down to look her in the eye. “Who is your favorite big brother?” Modesty rubs her nose. “You are,” she whispers.

“That’s because I’m your only big brother,” Credence tells her and pulls her in for one last hug. “Go,” he say, “it’ll be okay.” Modesty nods.

“I love you, Credence,” she says, and then follows the foster parents into the house, leaving Credence to stare at them in jealousy as they close the door.

“Alright,” the social worker says. “Are you ready?”

Credence shrugs. “Where am I even going?”

“I was able to get you a spot in a group home.” She tells him. He follows her to the car and gets in. He looks back at the house as they drive away.

Mary Lou’s house was hell, and Credence never wanted to return, but at least in that house he had Modesty and even Chastity on those days where she couldn’t hide the concern she had been feeling.

The group home he is taken to is hectic. It’s not really a home but more like a building. It houses eight other boys and they sleep in one giant room with many bunk beds. The kids are cruel. They make fun of his hair and the fact that he is shy and quiet. The staff are busy and always running around. The food is gross and he feels guilty for thinking that because at least he’s actually being fed consistently.

He hates it.

The day that he breaks is a cold one. He hadn’t been able to sleep that night and wasn’t too hungry as he waited in line for breakfast. One of the kids was being a jerk and Credence was trying to ignore him.

“Do you ever speak?” The kid asks, and Credence continues to look straight ahead.  “Are you retarded or something?” The kid says, laughing. “Come on, dude. Say something.”

Credence says silent.

“Don’t even bother, Micah,” another boy says. “It’s not worth it. The kid’s a freak.”

Credence’s body freezes at the word. His fingers curl up to a fist.

“Isn’t that right?” The boy says, moving past Micah to stand next to him. “You’re nothing but a freak. That’s why your mommy kept you locked up, isn’t it?”

Credence starts breathing heavily and wonders how the kid found out about Mary Lou.

Micah is laughing. The boy calls him a freak again. Credence loses control.

He growls and leans forward towards the boy to push him with all his strength. The boy wasn’t expecting it and stumbles backwards. He’s unable to keep his balance and trips, falling to the floor. Credence stands over him, his eyes glaring. “I’m not a freak,” he says, slowly and angrily.

“What’s going on here?” A staff member yells, running over.

“He pushed him!” Micah tells him.

The staff member motions for Credence to follow and an hour later he finds himself in the office of his social worker.

“Your sister is not adjusting well either,” she says. “I’m trying to find a placement that best finds both of your needs. Please believe that I am. For now I’ll place you in another group home. There won’t be as many kids it,” she tells him.

“Okay,” is all Credence says.

He stays at the new placement for all of two days before his social worker picks him up. As they walk to the car Modesty runs out of the car.

“I was able to find a couple who were willing to take in both of you,” the social worker says. “They both have experience in fostering children who have had a similar home life,” she tells Credence. He nods and follows Modesty into the car.

“I saw Chastity yesterday!” she says, excitedly. “She’s staying with Rebecca’s family.”

Credence remembers Rebecca from their old high school. He assumes she returned to the same school and he wonders if she’s seen Newt.

Their foster parents welcome the two siblings in with open arms.

“We understand it’s a hard transition. It’s not easy to go from a life of isolation to one of normalcy. We’re here for you,” they tell him when Modesty is tucked away in her new bed and fast asleep. Credence has his own room and his own bed. He has an actual bathroom to use. He has a _home_ , but his foster parents are right; it’s not an easy transition. It’s not that he has to get used to being treated like a human being. He gets used to the luxuries he was denied right away.

It’s the fact that he’s in a home but it’s not _his_ home. He wakes up and goes down to the kitchen for breakfast but it’s not his mom’s hot oatmeal with berries that he loved so much. It’s not watching TV in the evening with Chastity complaining that he always picks weird movies to put on. It’s not his mom kissing him goodnight before he goes to bed. It’s everything he had before the past year but it’s all so _wrong_.

The following week he doesn’t return to school with Modesty. His foster parents hire him a tutor to help him catch up. His foster parents also let him walk with Modesty to school every morning and to pick her up every afternoon. It’s a Tuesday and he’s just arrived to walk her back to the house.

“Credence!” Chastity calls out and he notices her waiting near the steps to the entrance of the school.

“Hey,” he says, walking over to her. She embraces him in a tight hug. She has been visiting her siblings every day, specifically Credence, and they are slowly getting used to being siblings again.

“Come to pick Modesty up too?” Credence asks and she nods.

“I also wanted to give you this,” she tells him as she hands him a piece of paper. He looks at it and realizes he has an identical one in the top drawer of the dresser next to his bed. Newt’s number is even written in the same blue ink.

“His third period is in the same hallways as mine,” Chastity says. “He told me to give it to you in case you misplaced the other one during all the moving around.”

“Thanks,” Credence says. “I still have the other one,” he says more quietly.

“Why didn’t you call?” Chastity asks and Credence shrugs.

“You should call him,” she says. “Your foster parents probably know more than you think you do. I saw the files when I was in her office once. They’re huge.”

Credence nods.

“I want you to be happy again,” Chastity tells him, “and I know you were happy with him. Call him.”

The bell rings before Credence can respond. Modesty is full of excitement when she sees both her brother and her sister.

Chastity stays for dinner and gives Modesty a hug and a kiss before she leaves. “Call him,” she mouths to Credence before walking back to her friend’s house.

He doesn’t call. Instead he walks over to the high school a few days later. He finds Chastity who tells him that the soccer team has practice. He walks over the field and sits on the bleachers and watches. Newt finally notices him when the team is finished. He stops and looks at Credence before making his way over.

“Hi,” Newt says.

Credence waves hello as Newt sits down next to him.

“You never called,” Newt says.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Credence tells him.

“I thought everything was okay,” Newt says. “We seemed okay in the hospital.”

Credence stares at the field in front of him.  “I don’t think I’ll ever truly be okay again,” he finally whispers.

Newt raises his hand slowly to rub Credence’s back, unsure if Credence would allow him. Credence leans into the attempted touch, telling Newt that he will.

“It was heaven being in the hospital,” Credence says, “but probably only because it was the first place other than the basement I’d been in a year. Then I left and things just got so hard. Everything was so different again.”

“Maybe you just need something that seems normal,” Newt says. “I still have a Netflix account,” he tells Credence.

Credence nods. “Okay,” he says.

Newt’s parent’s are still at work when they arrive. He sits on Newt’s bed as the boy showers. Everything is exactly the same as it was a year ago. When Newt gets out of the shower he sits down on the bed next to Credence.

“What do you want to watch?” Newt asks.

“I don’t know,” Credence says.

“I never got around to The Twilight Zone,” Newt tells him, and Credence remembers them talking about it before the incident at school.

“Me either,” Credence laughs bitterly.

“Twilight Zone it is,” Newt says.

They sit next each other with their shoulders touching. Out of the corner of his eye Credence can see Newt glancing at him occasionally. Then Newt’s hands slowly touch his and Newt’s fingers make his way up Credence’s arm.

Newt leans in to kiss Credence’s neck and the boy jumps out of the bed.

“I’m sorry!” Newt yells, “I’m sorry.”

Credence is panting heavily.

“What if your parents come in?” Credence asked.

“We’ve already been interrupted before,” Newt says.

“Yeah and look where that got me,” Credence snaps.

Newt looks at the floor and Credence puts his head in his hands.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Credence says.

“I know.”

“We were just sitting together at hospital,” Credence says, “that was perfectly normal.”

“I know,” Newt says again.

“I need time,” Credence whispers, and Newt nods his head. “Okay,” he says. “Let me walk you out.”

“Thanks,” Credence says.

That night he dreams of the first time he hung out with Newt. He dreams about the first time they kiss. He wakes up feeling aroused. He groans and hits his head against the pillow. He thinks about what Chastity said about being happy and what Newt said about doing the normal things he would have done this past year. His foster parents did not act shocked when he told them that he had hung out with Newt. They just tell him to be careful and he knows that they are aware of his past with him.

He wants normalcy. He wants happiness. He wants them _so_ badly.

He goes to Newt’s house a few days later. His mother answers the door.

“Hello,” he says, “Is Newt home?”

“Yes,” she tells him, “and you are?”

“Credence,” he says, “I’m a friend of his.”

His mother gives him a look. “He’s in his room,” she finally tells him.”

“Thank you,” he says, walking up the stairs.

Newt is at his desk finishing homework. Credence knocks on his door and turns around.

“Busy?” Credence asks and Newt shakes his head.

“I need a break anyway. Close the door when you come in.”

Credence does and he and Newt stand there.

“Can you try what you did the last time that I was here?” Credence whispers.

Newt walks towards him and runs his fingers across Credence’s hand. Then he runs them up his arm before slowly leaning in towards his neck. He stops.

Credence is breathing hard, “Do it,” he says, and Newt’s lip touches his skin and he gives kisses that rise up his neck until his lips are against Credence’s lips. He stares into Credence’s eyes and Credence stares back. Their lips gently touch before Newt pulls away.

“Are you comfortable?” Newt asks.

Credence looks up at him.

Newt is kind, he is gentle, and he cares for Credence. Newt is everything he needs and Credence slowly starts to realize that this is what he wants. He hears his mother’s voice in the back of his head. She’s telling him he’s a sinner and that he’s disgusting. He closes his eyes shut.

“Credence?” He can hear Newt asking.

Mary Lou’s voice is still there. He wants to tell her to go away. He wants to tell her he’s none of those things. He wants to tell that she’s wrong and this here, what he has with Newt, its right.

_It’s right._

Credence opens his eyes and leans towards Newt, pulling him close to him and towards Newt’s bed.

They lie down and they kiss. Newt is staring into Credence’s eyes again and he is staring back.

“Hey Newt,” Credence says.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me your favorite animal fact,” Credence says, and Newt smiles. He takes Credence’s hand in his and tells him about the African elephants he read about recently.

That night Credence falls asleep with the taste of Newt on his lips.

It tastes magical.

**Author's Note:**

> i hear hurricanes ablowing  
> i know the end is coming soon  
> i fear rivers over flowing  
> i hear the voice of rage and ruin  
> creedence clearwater revival - bad moon rising
> 
> (I own nothing)


End file.
